This blog was originally posted on Ocean Mimic, a fantastic start-up that’s promoting women and the ocean at the same time.
Raise your hand if you’re a girl or woman who’s ever felt like you are a sham. Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt that, although you are working hard, you don’t really belong. Raise your hand if ever you felt like you ended up in your job through luck, and not hard work.
The reality of Impostor Syndrome
Impostor syndrome is real, and many of us suffer from it without even realising. When I first came across the term, I had to Google it. I figured it’d be something to do with fraud, but it’s a lot more personal than that. In short, Impostor Syndrome is the feeling that you are not qualified to do your job or achieve your goals, despite objective evidence to the contrary. If you’re wondering if you suffer from this syndrome, take this quick test. Despite the fact that even admitting to suffering from Impostor Syndrome feels like failure (vicious cycle, anyone?), it’s become clear to me that I can definitely relate.
Last year, I started a new job as a social media manager. But with a background in science and an unused personal Twitter account, the syndrome hit me as soon as they offered me the job. “I’m not qualified to do this,” even though I’d already been doing the job for a year. “They’ll see right through me,” and see what exactly? “I don’t deserve to get paid to do this,” and “I’m younger than everyone else in my team.” These were all thoughts that continuously flowed through my mind. Never mind that I did the interview, and prepared a strategy, presentation and endless statistics to show that I was suitable for the job. “Maybe they’re just trying to get me to stop showing them stats,” was the next thought my impostor came up with.
The origins
So why do so many of us feel this way? Part of it has to do with an abject fear of failure. We teach girls to be perfect. Imperfections (on your skin, in your behaviour, in your speech, in your job, and so on) are all causes for criticism, and therefore we are worried that if we fail, even only a little bit, it can damage our reputation or be the end of our career. This crippling fear of failure is something that can hold us back, despite the fact that many men do not feel the same fear. Instead, we teach boys to fall and get back up again. Whilst we tell little girls to be careful and avoid leaving their comfort zone for fear of getting hurt – both physically and mentally – we tell boys to explore and take risks. And this behaviour starts from such a young age, we don’t even know it’s happening. Since I’ve realised this, I’ve become more relaxed in my job. If something doesn’t work, that’s fine – I can try again, just like the guys.
The vicious circle
But since Impostor Syndrome was first described, it has become clear that it’s not just women who suffer. Although we’re more likely to suffer, the syndrome affects people from all walks of life, especially those of underrepresented groups. Dena Simmons describes in her TED talk how sometimes she feels she’s not invited to speak at conferences based upon her merit, but instead because her skin colour allows organisers to “tick a box”. This again creates a vicious cycle. At a conference I attended recently, the panel of experts that was leading the discussion consisted of five women from different backgrounds. I overheard another woman in the audience say to her friend: “Now, are they there because they deserve to be, or because the organisers want to look diverse? I can’t even tell anymore.” So even when women are finally recognised for their hard work, we now assume they have been given opportunities based on their gender! It wouldn’t surprise me if some of the women on that panel suffered from acute Impostor Syndrome had they heard the woman’s comment.
The way forward
So how do we combat this? There are many ways to tackle this complex issue, but one of the ways I’ve been able to combat the insidious process myself is by slowly learning to accept compliments. And, more importantly, by giving them. Working in an environment where people are encouraging makes me feel that I am actually OK at my job, but creating that environment starts with yourself. So when somebody has worked hard to pull off a job, say well done. If somebody seems snowed under and is clearly afraid to ask for help, offer it. If a meeting was particularly productive or stimulating, let the entire team know. Create the environment you’d want your colleagues to create for you, and soon you’ll find you start to feel less fraudulent.
But more than anything, start with the little ones. Every little girl should know that they can do anything, so tell them this. Tell the young girls – and women – in your life that they are worth it, that they can achieve anything, and that nothing or nobody can stop them. Tell them, and you’ll soon believe it yourself. You are unstoppable.
Faye Vogely 